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EMERGENCY ALERT: If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed, ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY.
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I love you when you’re naked.
2
I’m not changing a thing, except my belly ring.
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If I could unmeet some people I would.
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Bad things happen to good people because it’s funnier.
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You don’t know what you don’t know until you know it.
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My wife says I never listen to her. (Or something like that)
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Wake me up when I am famous.
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I am not anti social I am anti idiot.
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Lawyers have feelings too. (Allegedly)
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You are offended by things I say? Imagine the stuff I hold back…
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Shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.
2
I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested.
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Come to the math side, we have pi.
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Life is a soup and I’m a fork.
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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Smart and witty beats fake and pretty.
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#WITF
Where is the food?
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Irony: the opposite of wrinkly.
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Nasty Woman
(noun)
1. a tough, smart female who gets sh*t done.
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If you need anything from me, reconsider.
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I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.
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I’d love to stay and chat but I’d be lying.
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Jesus loves you.
(Everyone else thinks you suck)
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Lazy is a very strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
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This is what awesome looks like.
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I make wine disappear. What’s your superpower?
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If things get better with age then I’m approaching magnificent.
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Be your own kind of beautiful.
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A L C _ H _ L
Sometimes alcohol is the answer.
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Sorry I can’t. I have things I need to pretend to do.
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Exercise?
I thought you said extra fries.
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Think like a proton, always positive.
3
I’m not single, I have a dog.
2
You are the CSS to my HTML.
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Video games don’t make us violent, lag does.
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With great mustache, comes great responsibility.
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Home is where my dog is.
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You can run from your problems, unless your problem is a Cheetah.
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Do not read the next sentence.
You little rebel I like you.
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Stressed.
Depressed.
But well dressed.
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I don’t like morning people, or mornings or people.
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When in doubt, vacation.
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Multilingual I speak:
– Song Lyrics
– Movie Quotes
– Sarcasm
– Whale
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Sure, just not until I’ve had my coffee.
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Haters gonna hate. Ain’ters gonna ain’t.
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Keep smiling and f**k off.
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With a body like this who needs hair?
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If I say “first of all” run away because I have prepared charts, data, research and will destroy you.
Features
- The standard t-shirt for everyday wear
- 100% combed ringspun cotton. The perfect fabric for a graphic tee and the softest in the business. (Due to product availability, cotton type may vary for 2XL and 3XL sizes)
- 100% combed ringspun cotton. The perfect fabric for a graphic tee and the softest in the business. (Due to product availability, cotton type may vary for 2XL and 3XL sizes)
- Heavyweight 5.3 oz / 180 gsm fabric, solid colors are 100% preshrunk cotton, heather grey is 90% cotton/10% polyester, denim heather is 50% cotton/ 50% polyester
- Double-needle hems and neck band for durability
What USA Ship Methods Are Available?
- Standard (6-8 Business Days)
- FedEx Air (4-6 Business Days)
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